2 Drunks and a Cage

I recently transported two drunk men to the jail for being intoxicated and disorderly in public. The best part of the whole trip was their conversation on the 20 minute ride downtown. Both men were rediciously drunk, had very slurred speech, and could not stand let alone sit up straight without falling over. Neither man knew each other yet this conversation took place.

Drunk1: What did I do wrong sir?
Drunk2: You F'ed Up? Just sit up straight and take it like a man. (placing his head on the other guys head so as to get his attention)
Drunk1: But what did I do?
Drunk2: Dude, don't piss off the Officer, or he'll bitch slap you, isn't that right officer?
Drunk1: I ain't mad at him (me), he's a cool son of a bitch.
Drunk2: How many have you bitched slapped Officer?
Me: I haven't bitch slapped anyone.
Drunk2: Bull Shit, come on how many?
Drunk1: What did I do?
Drunk2: Shut up and take it like a man, buddy.
Drunk2: I just realized you are not my buddy, it's cool though I will be your buddy when we get down to the jail.
Drunk1: Officer could you stay in one lane and slow it down? (I was going 65 and was in one lane)
Drunk2: Hell no speed it up let's get there fast, woo hah.

There were some other comments in there, however, they were pretty much based on the same thing. One guy not realizing or not being to comprehend that I had told 8 times why he was arrested. The other guy telling him to take it like a man, not realizing he wasn't who he thought he was.

Thunder

Thank goodness that the first stage of pergatory is over and now we have a week window to go before the final stage of hell begins.
500,000 drunk idiots all day watching fireworks, doing things they know they are not supposed to do only because they know we can't stop them.
2 Weeks to go till rest.

Anger with the Man

It is getting to be more clear to me why Cops have an attitude when dealing with others. About 99% of my job is having to shift through bull shit and find a quasi right scenario of what happened. Most of the time it is pretty easy to do. However, other times it is tough. People will flat lie to you as if you are a complete idiot. And I believe as Officer's, at least I do anyway, get a little bit of enjoyment from watching people squirm out of their lies. All I ask from a person when I have to communicate with them is to tell me the truth. If someone tells me the truth, I will do all in my job category ( I don't like to use the word power, so as to not let it seem as though I enjoy it) to not have to take them to Jail and just give them a good charge or violation.
Basically I can see now, and I am sure that it will get even more clear, how people feel that Cops are jerks. It isn't that we, well maybe I, want to be but try dealing with people who lie all the time. They then get mad at you when you have to make a decision concerning all the information given. I guess we try and find a little bit of humor in our attitudes and actions to make it easier to forget.

Death

I recently went on my 4th or 5th 10-80 (death scene) run. It always is interesting to see that people when they are dead they almost become something else. When I look at them they seem to become unhuman. That is not meant to be heartless or cold, but in my faith once you are dead there is heaven or hell. Either way your spirit, what I feel is the human part, is gone leaving only the earthly matter.

What still chokes me up everytime I get to a scene is the family and friends reactions. In someway or another I can't help but feel some type of connection to their family. Most of the time I think about how it will be when I die, or my close friends and family pass away. I hope that I can face it and be the strength for everyone else given what I believe, as does the rest of my family and friends, that I will see them again. I have been very blessed that I have not had to lose someone close to me yet. I don't fear the day, but I hope that I will be how God has it planned and that I won't become an empty hole of sadness.

Get Your Head Out of the Cloud

One of the best parts of this job, is messing with stupid kids. Depending on the age and their experience in the system they will believe almost anything. I really enjoy messing with them with my beat partners. Especially to the point that you can see them start to shake. Which leads me to this story:

I stopped these 5 kids in a park the other day. They obviously had been smoking pot, all their eyes were bloodshot and had the faint smell on them. By the time I reached them they had ditched whatever marijuana they had left on them. So I ask the questions that cops ask "What you all been doing?" This leads me to a side note. Information alert!!!!!! COPS DON"T ASK QUESTIONS WE DON"T KNOW THE ANSWERS TO ALREADY!!!!!! Back to the story. There was this one kid who was completely gone. I asked him simple questions, "where do you live?". Answer, "Dude on that street."
"What street?"
"Man, You Know"
"No I don't"
"Sir, I really don't know either anymore."
I end the evening and our conversation with:
"It is your lucky night. I know you have been smoking and pitched some on me, but I can't find it in the grass. And you (turning to the idiot with all the wrong answers), You need to stop smoking weed for 5 minutes to figure where in the hell you are and what the hell is going on."
At this point all of his little buddies started dieing laughing.
The whole scene was pretty funny from the beginning. If y'all could have seen this kid, you would understand why this story was funny. Mohawk, Lip ring, blood shot eyes, slurry speech, combat boots, and a stupid "I'm High" grin on his face is a little description.

Speeding

So I am cruising down the highway to go get something to eat, going the average cop speed of 55-60 in a 55. (Cause everyone knows that cops don't speed to set a good example.) All of a sudden this silver Toyota SUV goes flying by me. So I have to accelerate 10 mph to catch up to her. I finally get the vehicle stopped and approach. I ask "You know how fast you were going?" to which a 31 year old new born mother answers "81 or 82". I had to have a look of shock on my face at this point, she actually told me the truth in a world of liers, to cops anyways. I reply "You realize the speed limit is 55 right?". She comes back with "NO SHIT?!?, I'm sorry."

This isn't the best story I have. It caught me off guard that this woman just flat stated her speed and then came up with that answer. I found it rather humorous.

Stories

This is going to be my place to share funny, sad, and just plain stupid stories that I encounter on a daily basis. Hopefully you find enjoyment as much I have, since I will have posted them on here.

ENJOY!!!