Blow the man down!!!

Last year a female officer in training was riding along with one of my beat partners. Typically when there is a training officer the senior officers have the PO (probationary officer) due all the work. First so as to get them used to being a cop, understanding paperwork, etc. etc. The other reason is so that we do not have to do all of the paperwork, etc. A lot of times we try and joke around with the individuals that we are dealing with at the expense of the training officer. This story is the reverse, the training officer, whether setting the individual up herself or not, made every single one of the 5 officers there (it was a cold boring night) laugh for 5 minutes.

Keep in mind that cops no matter how much of a hard ass they try to be or how serious they try to be love to make people nervous, uncomfortable, laugh (mainly jokes for other officers). Think Supertroopers. First if you have not seen this movie rent it and watch it. It is not a kids movie, so do not let them watch it. And yes cops do use the tricks in that movie among others. I recently used the "meow" with the radio operator on a stolen cat report she was trying to dispatch me on. She had to get off of the radio for a few minutes she was laughing so hard. This is why I love being a cop. It is a blast to do and it is one of the few occupations that are rewarding in humorous ways, in my opinion.

So an idiot (20 year old white male) guns his sports car in a left hand turn to beat traffic. He loses control and wraps his car around a tree. We are talking with him casually asking him if he is o.k, does he need an ambulance, etc. A few minutes pass and we decide he might have been drinking. Since the PO was new and had not dealt with a lot of DUI's we decided to let her do the FST's (Field Sobriety Tests). The guy passes most of the tests and we decide that he hasn't been drunk, but we make him think he is in trouble. At this time 4 of us are standing around the two guys in the car, including the PO. The PO, a female I might add, was doing all of the conversing, the rest of us are just watching and listening. At one point she lets slip that he had not completely passed all of the tests. The gentleman driving (idiot) goes on a plea that he was not drinking nor that he was drunk. The PO goes well if what a PBT test (roadside breathalizer)? The guy states "you can give me any test you want!! If you want to blow, I will do it!!" To our astonishment at a PO being this witty in the first few weeks, the female PO replies "No sir I do no want to blow you!!!" She said so matter of fact and calm that it flew right by the guys head, he did not understand at all. Myself and the other officers at this time turned around and tried to hide or hysterical laughing from view. Each time one of us would look at the other we would lose it again. Finally the guys that we were around starting to catch on and they started back tracking.

It was a hilarious line. It was one of the funniest moments I have witnessed as a cop. And we still tell it and laugh just as hard a year later.

My Children of the Night

As I was writing my last post about non-police issues I was reminded about my job. I believe I briefly touched on this subject before, but I am apparently the father of 1 million people. Like most children there are some that are independent and do not need my help. THere are some that unfortunately need my help. And then there are those that repeatedly look to me to guide, punish, make decisions, and wipe their asses. Not really wipe their asses, but you know....

Why does this irk me so?? Well I'll tell you. Most people I deal with are idiots and the worst part is that they breed more idiots. I have had to literally tell people to go to their rooms and go to sleep. What is sad about it is that they do. It is as if they never grew up to adults and I have to continue caring for them. Policing is less about fighting crime anymore than it is raising citizens. People say that police work is 90% boredom and 10% fear. I disagree, I think it is 50% boredom (which is mainly filled with humor or trying to find it), 5 % eating, 10% fear, and 35% annoyed, frustrated, and pissed off at the ignorance of the world and having to deal with it.

This is just dealing with adults. Juveniles are their own problem. They realize what they are doing, don't care, and realize that police have little power to do anything about it. The problem with juveniles and society today is that juveniles have no consequence for their actions. Parents are scared to discipline them, police have no power (except in felony situations), and the courts don't punish them.

SO this was pretty disheartening, but I had to write about it. Let me know your thoughts for or against.

This and That...

This post is not about cop work. I have recently been doing some pretty cools things. One of which was the Monday night football game in Cleveland. We drove up on the Monday of the game, watched the game, then drove back after the game. I got home at 6 in the morning, had to get up for a dr's appointment at 11, then had to be at work at 3 oclock. I was exhausted. However, it was definitely worth it. I forgot how much fun pro football games are. Which leads me to my next point. I am excited about going to the Bengals game with my sister. I had a great time this summer when I took her to a Reds game and so hopefully this will be more of the same.

Finally, I go under the knife on Friday. I have a torn miniscus (sp) and it needs to be cut out. So hopefully I can remember some stories and write about them with the month off that I will have.

THat is all for now, I will try and get back to the good, gross, entertaining, and humorous stories.

Really????

So made a run tonight on a sexual assault of a dog. Obviously none of us believed it at the time, however it was true. All I can say is that there are some really sick people out there. This dog was messed up and unfortunately I am not sure if it will survive. Oh and if you are wondering...we have him on 3 different felonies. This guy really "screwed the pooch". Sorry!!! Inappropriate but necessary.