As I was writing my last post about non-police issues I was reminded about my job. I believe I briefly touched on this subject before, but I am apparently the father of 1 million people. Like most children there are some that are independent and do not need my help. THere are some that unfortunately need my help. And then there are those that repeatedly look to me to guide, punish, make decisions, and wipe their asses. Not really wipe their asses, but you know....
Why does this irk me so?? Well I'll tell you. Most people I deal with are idiots and the worst part is that they breed more idiots. I have had to literally tell people to go to their rooms and go to sleep. What is sad about it is that they do. It is as if they never grew up to adults and I have to continue caring for them. Policing is less about fighting crime anymore than it is raising citizens. People say that police work is 90% boredom and 10% fear. I disagree, I think it is 50% boredom (which is mainly filled with humor or trying to find it), 5 % eating, 10% fear, and 35% annoyed, frustrated, and pissed off at the ignorance of the world and having to deal with it.
This is just dealing with adults. Juveniles are their own problem. They realize what they are doing, don't care, and realize that police have little power to do anything about it. The problem with juveniles and society today is that juveniles have no consequence for their actions. Parents are scared to discipline them, police have no power (except in felony situations), and the courts don't punish them.
SO this was pretty disheartening, but I had to write about it. Let me know your thoughts for or against.
4 comments:
Well I can tell you as a counselor that many people are never really raised to be self sustaining adults. Either their parents did not give them any structure and so they are stuck mentally and emotionally around the age of 11 or 12, or they gave them way too much and never allowed them to do anything on their own, which in turn means that they still rely on all external things to make decisions and influence their behavior.
There's this interpersonal communication model call the P/A/C, which stands for Parent/Adult/Child. We all have these in us, and when we speak to people we speak from one of our states to one of theirs. For example, we can speak from our adult to their adult, our parent to their child, our child to their parent, etc. But then they don't always respond back the same way- you can talk to someone's adult from your adult, but they might respond from their child to your parent. Anyways, I think its interesting to see how you revert when you are talking to the citizens- do you go from your parent to their child, or your adult to their adult
At first I try Adult to adult. But then it becomes evident on whether they can handle this interaction. Either by tantrums, crying (not brought on by me), or stubborn headedness (is that a word or description?). I understand all about the growing up, lack of needs met, etc. etc., but it is still dumbfounding (again is that a description) to deal with these people on a day to day basis. Things happen with grown adults I do not see a 2 year old do. Just astonishing.
Well, the thing, no matter how they talk to you, you should always do adult to adult back to them. Or at least, that's what the theory says is going to be the most effect and healthy in a boundary setting way- that no matter how they treat you, you don't stoop to either of the other states, because really no adult has the right to talk another person's parent or child unless they are talking to a child. Again, that's the theory- but I agree with it =) I'll have to google and give you some definitions of what each of these looks like..
I can see how starting off with adult-to-adult would be the prudent course of action, but I am a long-time watcher and fan of COPS, so I've seen a lot of situations where even starting out adult-to-adult and trying to keep things calm, the situation breaks down pretty quickly. I think that sadly, for cops, the situations where you do have to bust out the parent-to-child talk are much more common than any of us have to experience in our daily lives. I could never make it as a cop because after about my first run, I'd be so irritated with the behavior of folks that I'd start cracking skulls with my big stick. I understand that the people didn't get the skills to handle basic life, but that doesn't make it any less annoying to deal with them. It's a sad scene all the way round.
And for the record I love that Steve calls them "his children of the night". Heh.
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