So yeah, my sister at our family gathering of Thanksgiving, decided to throw me under the bus. She states something along the line of: "Since you only blog ONCE a MONTH!!!!" So to all of you who appreciate this blog I am going to try and blog twice a week. I had always tried to come up with the best blog entries for your entertainment. Making them like fine pieces of art. Well to please my audience of 3, I will now write down stories in a black book while I work and try and report them quicker. It might take a few weeks to get it going, but I will try.
Hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving and is enjoying the Christmas season....I know I am.
Friday, November 28, 2008
Sunday, November 23, 2008
"Knee"d to Post
So I am off of my sabbatical, aka knee surgery. It was nice to have about a month off, however now I am ready to get back to it. Laugh if you will, but I miss driving my car.
So I had a conversation with my sister while I was injured. We got to do a lot of stuff together, well more than we have in the past and I really enjoyed it. She brought up an issue that I feel that most people are a little confused on. She stated, in way or another, that "it must be nice to have a get out of ticket free card." This was in response to my driving. I was going MAYBE 5 mph over the speed limit. (If you know me I would never speed, ; ) I feel that most people think that cops will not a get a ticket if they are caught speeding. Let me assure you this is not the case. There are many officers out there that actually enjoy giving other officers tickets. It is not like being an officer of the past. More often than not officers will write anybody a ticket now adays, regardless of your occupation.
That is it. I just wanted to clear the air. I am sure none of you believe me, but when I get a ticket I will put a picture of it on here.
So I had a conversation with my sister while I was injured. We got to do a lot of stuff together, well more than we have in the past and I really enjoyed it. She brought up an issue that I feel that most people are a little confused on. She stated, in way or another, that "it must be nice to have a get out of ticket free card." This was in response to my driving. I was going MAYBE 5 mph over the speed limit. (If you know me I would never speed, ; ) I feel that most people think that cops will not a get a ticket if they are caught speeding. Let me assure you this is not the case. There are many officers out there that actually enjoy giving other officers tickets. It is not like being an officer of the past. More often than not officers will write anybody a ticket now adays, regardless of your occupation.
That is it. I just wanted to clear the air. I am sure none of you believe me, but when I get a ticket I will put a picture of it on here.
Thursday, October 23, 2008
Blow the man down!!!
Last year a female officer in training was riding along with one of my beat partners. Typically when there is a training officer the senior officers have the PO (probationary officer) due all the work. First so as to get them used to being a cop, understanding paperwork, etc. etc. The other reason is so that we do not have to do all of the paperwork, etc. A lot of times we try and joke around with the individuals that we are dealing with at the expense of the training officer. This story is the reverse, the training officer, whether setting the individual up herself or not, made every single one of the 5 officers there (it was a cold boring night) laugh for 5 minutes.
Keep in mind that cops no matter how much of a hard ass they try to be or how serious they try to be love to make people nervous, uncomfortable, laugh (mainly jokes for other officers). Think Supertroopers. First if you have not seen this movie rent it and watch it. It is not a kids movie, so do not let them watch it. And yes cops do use the tricks in that movie among others. I recently used the "meow" with the radio operator on a stolen cat report she was trying to dispatch me on. She had to get off of the radio for a few minutes she was laughing so hard. This is why I love being a cop. It is a blast to do and it is one of the few occupations that are rewarding in humorous ways, in my opinion.
So an idiot (20 year old white male) guns his sports car in a left hand turn to beat traffic. He loses control and wraps his car around a tree. We are talking with him casually asking him if he is o.k, does he need an ambulance, etc. A few minutes pass and we decide he might have been drinking. Since the PO was new and had not dealt with a lot of DUI's we decided to let her do the FST's (Field Sobriety Tests). The guy passes most of the tests and we decide that he hasn't been drunk, but we make him think he is in trouble. At this time 4 of us are standing around the two guys in the car, including the PO. The PO, a female I might add, was doing all of the conversing, the rest of us are just watching and listening. At one point she lets slip that he had not completely passed all of the tests. The gentleman driving (idiot) goes on a plea that he was not drinking nor that he was drunk. The PO goes well if what a PBT test (roadside breathalizer)? The guy states "you can give me any test you want!! If you want to blow, I will do it!!" To our astonishment at a PO being this witty in the first few weeks, the female PO replies "No sir I do no want to blow you!!!" She said so matter of fact and calm that it flew right by the guys head, he did not understand at all. Myself and the other officers at this time turned around and tried to hide or hysterical laughing from view. Each time one of us would look at the other we would lose it again. Finally the guys that we were around starting to catch on and they started back tracking.
It was a hilarious line. It was one of the funniest moments I have witnessed as a cop. And we still tell it and laugh just as hard a year later.
Keep in mind that cops no matter how much of a hard ass they try to be or how serious they try to be love to make people nervous, uncomfortable, laugh (mainly jokes for other officers). Think Supertroopers. First if you have not seen this movie rent it and watch it. It is not a kids movie, so do not let them watch it. And yes cops do use the tricks in that movie among others. I recently used the "meow" with the radio operator on a stolen cat report she was trying to dispatch me on. She had to get off of the radio for a few minutes she was laughing so hard. This is why I love being a cop. It is a blast to do and it is one of the few occupations that are rewarding in humorous ways, in my opinion.
So an idiot (20 year old white male) guns his sports car in a left hand turn to beat traffic. He loses control and wraps his car around a tree. We are talking with him casually asking him if he is o.k, does he need an ambulance, etc. A few minutes pass and we decide he might have been drinking. Since the PO was new and had not dealt with a lot of DUI's we decided to let her do the FST's (Field Sobriety Tests). The guy passes most of the tests and we decide that he hasn't been drunk, but we make him think he is in trouble. At this time 4 of us are standing around the two guys in the car, including the PO. The PO, a female I might add, was doing all of the conversing, the rest of us are just watching and listening. At one point she lets slip that he had not completely passed all of the tests. The gentleman driving (idiot) goes on a plea that he was not drinking nor that he was drunk. The PO goes well if what a PBT test (roadside breathalizer)? The guy states "you can give me any test you want!! If you want to blow, I will do it!!" To our astonishment at a PO being this witty in the first few weeks, the female PO replies "No sir I do no want to blow you!!!" She said so matter of fact and calm that it flew right by the guys head, he did not understand at all. Myself and the other officers at this time turned around and tried to hide or hysterical laughing from view. Each time one of us would look at the other we would lose it again. Finally the guys that we were around starting to catch on and they started back tracking.
It was a hilarious line. It was one of the funniest moments I have witnessed as a cop. And we still tell it and laugh just as hard a year later.
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
My Children of the Night
As I was writing my last post about non-police issues I was reminded about my job. I believe I briefly touched on this subject before, but I am apparently the father of 1 million people. Like most children there are some that are independent and do not need my help. THere are some that unfortunately need my help. And then there are those that repeatedly look to me to guide, punish, make decisions, and wipe their asses. Not really wipe their asses, but you know....
Why does this irk me so?? Well I'll tell you. Most people I deal with are idiots and the worst part is that they breed more idiots. I have had to literally tell people to go to their rooms and go to sleep. What is sad about it is that they do. It is as if they never grew up to adults and I have to continue caring for them. Policing is less about fighting crime anymore than it is raising citizens. People say that police work is 90% boredom and 10% fear. I disagree, I think it is 50% boredom (which is mainly filled with humor or trying to find it), 5 % eating, 10% fear, and 35% annoyed, frustrated, and pissed off at the ignorance of the world and having to deal with it.
This is just dealing with adults. Juveniles are their own problem. They realize what they are doing, don't care, and realize that police have little power to do anything about it. The problem with juveniles and society today is that juveniles have no consequence for their actions. Parents are scared to discipline them, police have no power (except in felony situations), and the courts don't punish them.
SO this was pretty disheartening, but I had to write about it. Let me know your thoughts for or against.
Why does this irk me so?? Well I'll tell you. Most people I deal with are idiots and the worst part is that they breed more idiots. I have had to literally tell people to go to their rooms and go to sleep. What is sad about it is that they do. It is as if they never grew up to adults and I have to continue caring for them. Policing is less about fighting crime anymore than it is raising citizens. People say that police work is 90% boredom and 10% fear. I disagree, I think it is 50% boredom (which is mainly filled with humor or trying to find it), 5 % eating, 10% fear, and 35% annoyed, frustrated, and pissed off at the ignorance of the world and having to deal with it.
This is just dealing with adults. Juveniles are their own problem. They realize what they are doing, don't care, and realize that police have little power to do anything about it. The problem with juveniles and society today is that juveniles have no consequence for their actions. Parents are scared to discipline them, police have no power (except in felony situations), and the courts don't punish them.
SO this was pretty disheartening, but I had to write about it. Let me know your thoughts for or against.
This and That...
This post is not about cop work. I have recently been doing some pretty cools things. One of which was the Monday night football game in Cleveland. We drove up on the Monday of the game, watched the game, then drove back after the game. I got home at 6 in the morning, had to get up for a dr's appointment at 11, then had to be at work at 3 oclock. I was exhausted. However, it was definitely worth it. I forgot how much fun pro football games are. Which leads me to my next point. I am excited about going to the Bengals game with my sister. I had a great time this summer when I took her to a Reds game and so hopefully this will be more of the same.
Finally, I go under the knife on Friday. I have a torn miniscus (sp) and it needs to be cut out. So hopefully I can remember some stories and write about them with the month off that I will have.
THat is all for now, I will try and get back to the good, gross, entertaining, and humorous stories.
Finally, I go under the knife on Friday. I have a torn miniscus (sp) and it needs to be cut out. So hopefully I can remember some stories and write about them with the month off that I will have.
THat is all for now, I will try and get back to the good, gross, entertaining, and humorous stories.
Monday, October 13, 2008
Really????
So made a run tonight on a sexual assault of a dog. Obviously none of us believed it at the time, however it was true. All I can say is that there are some really sick people out there. This dog was messed up and unfortunately I am not sure if it will survive. Oh and if you are wondering...we have him on 3 different felonies. This guy really "screwed the pooch". Sorry!!! Inappropriate but necessary.
Sunday, August 31, 2008
No your Not!!!
I completely forgot about this run I made last year until yesterday. The female officer I made it with brought it up at roll call and all of us had a pretty good laugh. You might not find this funny, but I thought it was.
This run was for a 60 year old man who was drunk and being a nuisance to his family. Really not much we can do about it since he was in his own home, but people feel we can get rid of their problems for them even if it is their husband and father. We get there and this old man is sitting in his rocking chair in the living room completely wasted. We end up talking to him for like 2 hours all told while we waited for an ambulance (he was stating that his leg and back hurt from where he got shot). He kept glaring at me every few minutes and finally I had to ask. "What is the problem?" He replied, "I don't think I like you and I think I could take you!!!" Mind you I have not said a word yet, it was the officers run and she was doing all the talking. Realizing he was drunk I let it slide. He kept at if for like 20 minutes, and then the main officer stepped in and asked why his leg was hurting. He stated it was because he got shot, and if he could he would grab our guns and try and hurt us so that we know what it was like to be shot. My other officer stated "I have been shot in my LEFT thigh, I was in rehab for 8 months and I still have pain in it to this day." The old man then changed his attitude and stated "I respect you all. Man I could not do your job, especially big fellas over there." What the officer said was funny because she had never been shot or anything close to it. I knew it, she knew it, and I think the family knew it. So it was hard not to laugh. Usually we try and come up with some humor, not at anyone's expense, but mainly to break up the dull and lame.
As we were still waiting the man realized he had not had a drink in a while. He stated "I am getting up to get a beer." We told him not he wasn't. In a pissed off drunken movement he stood up from his chair and again stated "I AM GETTING A BEER!!!" To which I moved forward about 2 feet from him and stated "No your not."(calmly) The officer told me later it was hilarious to watch as this old man cocked his head straight back and looked up realized what he was doing and stated "Your right, I'm Not!! Sorry!!!" And he sat back down. He repeated this little game 4 more times and each time determined to get a beer. And each time he sat back down and and stated "Your right, I'm Not!"
There was some more to the story. Most of it was not funny, just dull as we waited for EMS. What happened at the end was priceless though. the man as he was being taken to the ambulance asked the other officer why she did not have a limp. Realizing what he meant she proceeded to walk with a limp to the ambulance without saying a word to him. He nodded when he saw her limping on her RIGHT leg as if all was well now that she had a limp. At this point I lost it. She was limping on the wrong leg, did not limp at all during the 2 hours we were there, and he did not notice or care until she did what he thought she should be doing.
This was probably not funny to a reader. Had you been there it would have been one of the funniest things you have ever seen, I promise. Sorry if it was not humorous to you, but I had to write about it.
This run was for a 60 year old man who was drunk and being a nuisance to his family. Really not much we can do about it since he was in his own home, but people feel we can get rid of their problems for them even if it is their husband and father. We get there and this old man is sitting in his rocking chair in the living room completely wasted. We end up talking to him for like 2 hours all told while we waited for an ambulance (he was stating that his leg and back hurt from where he got shot). He kept glaring at me every few minutes and finally I had to ask. "What is the problem?" He replied, "I don't think I like you and I think I could take you!!!" Mind you I have not said a word yet, it was the officers run and she was doing all the talking. Realizing he was drunk I let it slide. He kept at if for like 20 minutes, and then the main officer stepped in and asked why his leg was hurting. He stated it was because he got shot, and if he could he would grab our guns and try and hurt us so that we know what it was like to be shot. My other officer stated "I have been shot in my LEFT thigh, I was in rehab for 8 months and I still have pain in it to this day." The old man then changed his attitude and stated "I respect you all. Man I could not do your job, especially big fellas over there." What the officer said was funny because she had never been shot or anything close to it. I knew it, she knew it, and I think the family knew it. So it was hard not to laugh. Usually we try and come up with some humor, not at anyone's expense, but mainly to break up the dull and lame.
As we were still waiting the man realized he had not had a drink in a while. He stated "I am getting up to get a beer." We told him not he wasn't. In a pissed off drunken movement he stood up from his chair and again stated "I AM GETTING A BEER!!!" To which I moved forward about 2 feet from him and stated "No your not."(calmly) The officer told me later it was hilarious to watch as this old man cocked his head straight back and looked up realized what he was doing and stated "Your right, I'm Not!! Sorry!!!" And he sat back down. He repeated this little game 4 more times and each time determined to get a beer. And each time he sat back down and and stated "Your right, I'm Not!"
There was some more to the story. Most of it was not funny, just dull as we waited for EMS. What happened at the end was priceless though. the man as he was being taken to the ambulance asked the other officer why she did not have a limp. Realizing what he meant she proceeded to walk with a limp to the ambulance without saying a word to him. He nodded when he saw her limping on her RIGHT leg as if all was well now that she had a limp. At this point I lost it. She was limping on the wrong leg, did not limp at all during the 2 hours we were there, and he did not notice or care until she did what he thought she should be doing.
This was probably not funny to a reader. Had you been there it would have been one of the funniest things you have ever seen, I promise. Sorry if it was not humorous to you, but I had to write about it.
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